(An Open Letter to Those Surprisingly Contained in the Anglican Liturgical Year)
Dear Sirs and Madams:
How are you? We here
The undersigned write in reply
To your numerous questions why
You are contained in the Anglican year.
We know you did not really like us;
You may have abandoned our polite norms
Or offered your own counter reforms
But this isn’t really pleasant to discuss!
If you accused us all of grievous sin,
If we, once or twice, alluded to
Ex-communicating you,
We both meant it – we are quite sure! – in
The nicest of all possible ways.
We don’t mind that you converted,
Or, as we prefer to say, reverted
To the Papal See’s malaise.
We are not even that distressed
If it turns out, at the final twist,
That you did not actually exist.
We’re sure you meant it for the best.
So at the end of the liturgical day
Don’t ask us why like you so:
The truth is that we just don’t know,
Except to say, in our moderate way,
That if you did some silly things
We will not hold it against you,
For we have done some silly things too.
(We’ve even divorced the occasional king!)
And so, dear friends, when all this is said,
We hope that all this enmity
Will not prevent a cup of tea
Between sworn enemies before bed.
And, if you choose to still besmirch
Our name, we won’t return the curse,
For we remain, dear madams, dear sirs,
Ever yours,
The Anglican Church.
The Consolations of Writing 