Christmas with St Matthew 9

19.
Why did we send away those children, forgetting what He had told us, forgetting how little we ourselves were? Perhaps it was the feeling of largeness, of value, that we felt when He sparred against the Pharisees, the sense that we were part of something new, something great breaking in. And we were. But the way was humiliation, leaving everything for the kingdom. The way to the throne was only by surrendering all need of a throne.

20.
We were quick to scoff at James and John for their mother’s gall in asking, could they sit at his right and left side when he came as king? The impudence. How dare they put their mother up to it. But weren’t we all scuffling for our place in the line, comparing pedigrees, numbers of miracles performed, hours labouring in the vineyard. He never let those things matter. Even Judas, least of us, had no less of his love than the rest. Even those two blind men causing all that fuss by the roadside the day of Zebedee’s wife’s request. They knew they had no right but they called out at all the same. We knew, in some way then, that we wouldn’t keep Him, and yet somehow He was also ours forever at the very same time.

21.
And He knew what He was doing. Surely He knew, when He told me and James to fetch the donkey, what it meant. He carried prophets’ words inside Him more than any of us, and He would know, would have to know, how Zechariah would be echoing in the streets of Jerusalem when He rode into town on that donkey. Yet He knew also what lay in the hearts that hailed Him king, knew how false the signs of fruit were on the tree. Look, He said, the tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the kingdom ahead of you! Hosanna cried the desperate ones while the desperate teachers wrung their hands and inwardly I wept.